Houston, Do We Have a Problem?

OK,  this might be one of those topics that’s tricky. Maybe even unpopular. But it needs saying.

Why do we cover up what’s really going on?

Why is it so hard to admit that maybe, just maybe, we’re struggling? That we might need help? That despite all appearances, things inside don’t feel quite right?

I write this as a trader. To traders. Although truthfully, this cuts across professions. The specifics differ, but the feeling? It’s eerily common.

I’ve heard it in off-the-record chats. In quiet conversations. After a drink, when the mask slips, even if just for a moment.

There’s often a hum in the background -  a low-frequency discomfort that doesn’t go away. It’s not always loud, but once you tune into it, you can’t un-hear it.

On the surface, things look fine. Underneath? Something’s off.

Let’s Take Trader X

Confident. Cheerful. Always laughing. Always “on.”

Social life buzzing. Track record glowing. Boasting a PnL that would make a priest blush.

Spend a bit of time though, not on the highlights, but around the edges and you start to notice:

The laugh? Slightly hollow. The conversation? A bit forced. The brightness? So polished it’s almost too much.

That need to be “up,” to stay visibly in control, it’s exhausting to watch. And somewhere deep down, you know it’s not the full story.

What he doesn’t talk about:

• That his relationship is on the rocks… again.

• That he feels isolated, even in a crowd.

• That trading has become a chore.  Not exciting, not energising, just relentless.

• That the wins he celebrates don’t cancel out the big losses he hides.

• That he doubles down, ignores the signs and waits for the rebound. And when it does? He convinces himself it was all fine.

But it wasn’t fine.

It isn’t.

The Stories We Tell

We all have our own version.

We manage. We cope. We tell ourselves we’re fine. We hide behind discipline, logic, systems.

From the outside we look like we’re functioning. But inside? There’s often suffering.

It’s not always dramatic. Sometimes it’s subtle, a slow erosion rather than a collapse.

But suffering is suffering. And when it’s not named, it builds... and eventually, it outs.

So Where Does It Come From?

Yes, some of it is situational, performance, pressure, volatility.

But, a big part of it is internal. Emotional. Subconscious.

The loops we’re running that we don’t even know are loops.

Patterns we’ve carried from earlier experiences. Unprocessed shame, guilt, or fear. The desire to be seen as capable and in control - even when we feel anything but.

So, take a moment to reflect on where you are in your journey. Perhaps, you track your trades, your systems, your metrics.

When was the last time you tracked your emotional state?

Not just a mood journal, but real awareness. Naming what’s actually going on. Owning it without shame.

Until you name it, you can’t shift it.

The Fear of Naming It

Let’s call this out: There’s a reason people don’t talk about this.

It’s because it’s hard. It feels personal. It’s vulnerable. It’s messy. And it hits you where your identity lives.

In trading, your performance is your measure. You are what your PnL says you are.

So of course you push through. Of course you try to solve it yourself. Of course you hide the flaws.

Here’s what I see, again and again: The problem isn’t that you feel it. The problem is that you pretend it’s not there.

Why I’m Writing This

I’ve been 'advised' not to write things like this.

“Don’t talk about problems, talk about results.” “Fix the pain, don’t name it.” “People don’t want castor oil, they want to be told that everything is fine.”

And maybe from a marketing perspective, that’s true.

But from a human perspective?

From a helping people stay in the game without burning out perspective?

I’m here to say it anyway. Because this is real. And it’s happening.

With respect, I’m not here to sell you want you want, I’m here to help you recognise what you need.

What to Do Instead

You don’t have to tell the world. But you do need to get honest - with yourself.

Start here:

• Notice the discomfort you’ve been ignoring

• Identify the story you’re telling to keep going

• Ask yourself if it’s still serving you

And if it’s not?

Speak to someone. In a space that’s safe. Where you’re not being diagnosed, fixed, or judged.

A space where you can reconnect to you. The human behind the performance.

That’s what I help people do.

Sometimes it’s technical. Sometimes it’s emotional. Sometimes it’s deeply subconscious.

But always,  it’s about freeing up the system that runs your system.

So, Houston, Do We Have a Problem?

If something’s been humming in the background If you’ve noticed the fatigue, the pressure, the pretending If part of you is still performing while another part is quietly struggling

Then maybe, yeah -  we do.

And that’s OK.

But let’s not pretend it isn’t there.

Because if we can name it, We can change it.

"Fear of the name, is fear of the thing itself"

(Who’d have thought that Harry Potter would deliver such insight? Through the eyes of the child, we see truth) and let's not forget... Traders are People Too.

With deep love and respect

Sonal